Monday, January 9, 2012

Redefining Myself

Everybody's life is a roller coaster. We have our highs and lows. We want to solve things immediately, which often results in the wrong direction.

From the September 20, 2009 until June 2, 2011, I was in an immobile state. People were constantly pressuring me to date again because they wanted me to have children of my own or get over my loss immediately. I saw good friends date other men, so I thought I would jump the bandwagon as well. My family was opposed to the scenario as they knew it would be too soon. Indeed, they were right. Although I enjoyed the aspects of dating, but deep down I was hurting on the inside. The thought of my Steven always crossed my mind. I was grieving over the loss of him.

Then on June 2, 2011, I went to the lake where Steven died, swam in it with friends as we were training for a triathlon, and found peace. I sent mass text messages and posts on Twitter and Facebook to all of my friends and family. The response I got was enormous.

Once I got the weight off of my shoulders, I decided from that moment forward to focus on myself. I began to develop into my old self by doing a few more marathons and triathlons, but added Zumba to the mix. Not to mention, I became an active member in, a networking site where you meet people at a certain location. Along the way, I befriended with many triathletes, cyclists, church goers, marathoners, gym rats, wine drinkers (I joined one too many Wine Groups), Zumbatini's, and Meetupers. Not to mention, I have developed a stronger relationship to my already close-knit family.

Now that I am 2 1/2 years removed from that day, I have a different outlook on life. The thought of dating and perhaps having a family of my own does linger in my mind, but it remains to be seen. I am here on this Earth for a reason. Everything that I do is under God's plan. In the meantime, I must do the things that I truly enjoy with the people I love.

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